Kickball player

When I returned to writing, my father was dying. I had joined a writing group online called, ALLOW, and shared with and read other writers at various stages of their process, mostly poetry. I was reminded that as a child, I had loved to write, but it had taken a strong third to dance and art. It never occurred to me that I could continue all three of these passions and even fuse them. (I am still working on how to do that.)

Walking my dog this morning, this just came out. I use the voice memo option to keep the ideas because they come pretty fast and furious and because, with too many things on the to-do list, I am bound to forget immediately.

Photo by Mel Elías on Unsplash

I remember going to camp and sitting in the grass that surrounded the ball field

And the pulsing of heat rising from each of the blades creating

A little halo, a warm hug surrounding me while I was already hot

And sweaty and sticky

Radiating from my head and dripping down my temples

And under my chin

We were playing kickball

And both teams went into the grass because it was cooler than sitting on the bench

In the hot sun

I was hoping that I was going to kick a home run

I could feel that rubber ball against my sneaker and the sound it makes ‘pwwwwwnnnng!’

I saw myself connecting before it even got to touch the plate

The grass tickled the back of my legs

Convinced me that there were bugs

crawling

Those were the days when winning at kickball and kicking a home run were crowning achievements

pathways to being raised up on shoulders, held

to the sun as top

prize, the winner

My big thighs and resolve must be meant for something,

I’d mutter to myself, tugging

My nappy braids after an hour of swimming lessons

And hair that dried drawing tighter

tougher

I'd sit in my room by myself and replay how well or poorly I'd played, having no one to share these delightful thoughts of how I might become

A winner/superstar

 I didn't have the impression that they were much interested

They never did know that I was such a good kickball player